Maestro – Meeting #3 Minutes (Bonus Blogpost)

COM150 PROJECT MEETING #3
Minutes		19 MARCH 2016	7:00pm – 8:30PM	SR4B PROJECT ROOMSINGAPORE INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Meeting chaired by	ALVIN LIM JING YIK
Type of meeting	COM150 PROJECT MEETING #3
Note taker	EYRICA LEE MIN WEI
Attendees	ALVIN LIM JING YIKGOH YONG KIAT KWEK YONG LI EYRICA LEE MIN WEI
Absent with apologies	NIL
*Minutes is updated as of 23rd March 2016.
Agenda of Meeting: Progress Updates Presentation Mock Presentation Any Other Business (AOB) Next Meeting

1. Progress Updates
   • Videos Updates
     • Filming completed for all four listening styles
     • Uploaded onto group sharing site (Dropbox)
   • Research Updates
     • Defined message of presentation – “We are not limited to a specific listening style, but are encouraged to understand all four listening styles and implement them at appropriate situations”
     • To define appropriateness to help explanation of points in body of presentation (Required source – “Reflect & Relate” by Steven McCornack)
2. Presentation
   

   A.    Propose and Finalize content of Presentation

   o   Introduction§  Start with a question – “Are you a good listener?” ·         To set audience to think and reflect on past experience ·         To attract audiences’ attention to find out how to improve on their listening skills §  Explain importance of listening §  Question – “Do we all agree that we will work hard to become an effective listener?’ ·         To make a PACT with audience ·         PACT will lead us to the next topic §  PACT ·         Represents the pact made with audience ·         Encompasses the 4 different listening styles §  Explain 4 different listening styles §  MESSAGE OF PRESENTATION §  Appropriateness ·         From Reflect and Relate, Steven McCornack

   o   Body§  People Oriented Listener §  Action Oriented Listener §  Content Oriented Listener §  Time Oriented Listener ·  Content: +  Description of style +  Video +  Analysis of appropriateness of style

   o   Conclusion§  Link back to introduction and body §  To provide guide to be a better communicator §  Conclude – Re-emphasize message

    Intended Flow 

   Part	Speaker
   Introduction	Eyrica
   Body 1 – 2 listening types (videos) + explanation	Yong Kiat
   Body 2 – 2 listening types (videos) + explanation	Alvin
   Conclusion	Yong Li

    

   Deadlines

   ·         Slides: Send individual components to Alvin by 20th March 2016.

   ·         Rehearsal : Rehearsal will be held on 21st March 2016, 8.30am

3. Mock Presentation
   • Date: 21st March 2016
   • Time: 3pm
   • Things to note: Because it is a mock presentation, and we would want a full impact during actual presentation, some content will not be mentioned during mock presentation. (e.g. “PACT” and analysis of styles appropriate implementation
4. Any Other Business (AOB) NIL 
5. Next Meeting
   • Date: 25TH March 2016
   • Time: 7pm – 9pm
   • Venue: Project Room

Critical Reflection on Learning Points in the course:additional post

Communication is a topic that people assume they know a great deal about, particularly because they interact with many individuals on a daily basis via multiple channels – face-to-face conversation, phone, and email for example. Yet, there is much more to the discipline of Communication than many realize which COM150 has helped to successfully explain and explore.

During the past years before I took an effective communication class, I have had several experiences where I struggled to communicate effectively. However, I speak with confidence today because I now know how to be in control of how I want my message to be heard.

Before COM150, I have always taught that the difference between an effective and an ineffective speaker is by altering the verbal expression of a speech. However, I now know that it goes beyond that. Having appropriate non-verbal expressions can also contribute to being an effective communicator.

Besides that, I also understood how communication is not just about considering one’s speech but also one’s audiences. As we have learned in class, there are cultural and gender differences amongst people and this can affect communication. It is always vital to take those into consideration when communicating. On top of that, it is also vital to understand the style of listening they employ so as to craft our message in a way that is best suited for them. After all, it has been said that there is no communication unless a mutual sharing of meaning takes place.

Therefore, I have learned the ropes of altering my message through consideration of my audience in order for mutual sharing of meaning to take place.

When we are faced with a communication roadblock, it does not mean we do not have good communication skills. We can still turn things around using the infamous Thomas-Kilmann conflict model. An effective communicator will know how to utilize this model coupled with effective listening and speaking skills to respond effectively so as to elicit a behavior that we want.

In summary, COM150 has taught me how verbal and nonverbal expressions, personal style, listening, relationship dynamics, self-esteem, conflict management, and cultural and gender communication differences can come together to affect one’s communication skills.

Upon appreciating good communication skills, I acknowledge that this knowledge will be helpful even after graduation, when taken into the workplace. The key take away from this module is that communication is of vital importance and through effective communication; we can reduce misunderstandings and promote better relationships. Knowing how to communicate is personally satisfying and professionally wise therefore, I am very grateful for COM150.

#4 Critical Reflection on Project Learning

Working on the final group presentation for COM150 has taught me a lot about communication and in today’s blog post, I would like to specifically draw focus on the types of listening styles (Presentation Topic) and critically reflect on how this knowledge has helped me develop my oral presentation skills.

As we have all learned in class, there are 4 styles of listening (PACT) available namely; people oriented, action oriented, content oriented and time oriented. Through my extensive research on it, I gathered what this means is that people can employ a multitude of listening styles based on their preferences, purpose and appropriatness of listening. My research can be concluded in a simple sentence: “We are NOT LIMITED to a specific style, but should be encourage to understand ALL four listening styles and implement them at APPROPRIATE situations”. Based on the same reasoning, it is often the case that a speaker is faced with talking to people who go about listening in differing ways.

Trying to capture the attention of your audience when speaking can be a problem for some just like it was for me before knowledge of the types of listening styles available. Back in my polytechnic days, where presentations were a daily thing, I often wondered why the professor and only a handful of my classmates were listening to me speak. I experienced the same thing when giving my 1^st presentation in SIT too. There were barely anyone paying attention to my presentation. It simply did not occur to me that my audiences were people with different styles of listening and my presentation skills only appealed to certain listening styles.

I consider myself a speaker who caters best to the needs of action-oriented listeners. According to my research, action oriented listeners value clarity and precision yet look for directness and I believe I speak that way. In retrospect, I neglected those who preferred speakers who appeal to emotions (People Oriented Listeners), foster good relationships and those who seek content that were intellectually challenging (Content oriented). This explains why some people were not as attentive as the others.

When the 4 styles of listening were introduced in class, I knew how this would help remedy the lack of attention given by my peers during presentation. I researched on the characteristics of each listening style and crafted my presentation accordingly to suit everyone regardless of the style of listening they employed. This was evident in the final presentation I gave in week 13. 

For the people oriented listeners, I made use of examples in hopes of relating the content to them in meaningful ways. For the action-oriented listeners, I made sure I was very clear and precise in the delivery of my content. For the content oriented listeners, I posed questions to get them thinking how they can relate to what I was saying in their own views. The only listening style I failed to take into account would be the time oriented listening style. Trying to cater to all the different listening styles made it hard for me to achieve a quick and efficient delivery of my content. That was perhaps why there was a time overrun during my oral presentation.

Looking back, there were indeed a greater number of people who paid attention to my presentation relative to the one I gave back in Semester 1 and during my polytechnic days. This is an invaluable knowledge I gained through the project that I strive to utilize as best as I can and as much as I can, whenever I can. I believe this knowledge is not only applicable when giving a presentation. It can also be useful in a 1 to 1 setting. How, you may ask. The very first step to utilizing this knowledge is to identify the listening style of the person you’re speaking to using the PPA (Preference, Purpose, Appropriateness) guide. Only through knowing their listening style can a person craft the way they communicate to ensure better communication is taking place.

Reflecting upon my oral presentation in week 13, even though I managed to gain the attention of more people than before, I neglected the time-oriented listeners. I believe with practice comes perfection and so will look into how I can consider the different styles of listening yet be efficient at the same time. It is definitely going to be effortful, but the satisfaction I get when I see that my audiences are engaged is enough reason to continue doing so.

Altogether, working on the final presentation for COM150 has taught me a lot about listening both as a speaker and a receiver and the different dimensions in being a good listener beyond what I already know. With this experience, I would like to think that I have grown to become a better communicator. The key take away from this project is that taking into consideration of our audience is of vital importance when communicating ; we can reduce misunderstandings and promote better relationships.

With that, I would like to conclude the blog post with a quote “Communication of any sort,to any relationship, is like oxygen to life. Without it… it dies.”

🙂 🙂

#3 Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

I have witnessed and been a part of many conflicting situations since secondary school. However, one interpersonal conflict that I vividly remember was during my part time job as a Sales person at Singapore Expo’s IT fair. My job was simply to promote the sales of PSPs (The then famous game console). We were paid an hourly rate on top of the commission per console sold. Naturally, everyone wanted to be the best sales person. Having worked for a few IT fairs prior to this job, I developed a knack for talking. That gave me an added advantage compared to my fellow co-workers.

I saw myself as a sales person who would actively approach customers instead of waiting for them to approach me. That said, I was constantly promoting our game consoles. However, majority of our customers being Singaporeans, they tended to survey the price of a single product from a few shops before deciding on the one that offers the best price. As I was confident that our booth was offering the lowest price, I knew that sincere buyers would return. Having spend so much time pitching about our product to potential customers, I wanted them to return to me instead of my colleagues should they decide to get the game consoles from our booth. As such, I made sure I handed them a handwritten paper with my name on it so that they can look for me when they return.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t progressing well with my sales numbers. It took me a few hours to realise what was happening. My returning customers were constantly redirected to my co-workers even though they specifically asked for me. They were told that: “Sean’s busy with another customer, let me serve you instead.” I felt extremely upset, angry and particularly betrayed, that my co-workers, whom I trust, were ‘stealing’ my customers for themselves. They lied about me being busy even though I wasn’t occupied.

Unable to take this sitting down, I confronted them during our lunch break. To my dismay, they denied doing so. Feeling particularly provoked, I decided to ‘steal’ my customers back. Every time I saw a returning customer served by my co-worker, I approached them and informed them that my co-worker is new hence I am able to advice them better at my counter.

Before long, my sales numbers sky rocketed while the numbers for the others’ plunged. Day 2 saw my co-workers ignoring me. Whenever I needed help to replenish stocks or help my customer make payment while I was busy, there was no one willing to help. I had to give up some of my customers in order to cope and that was when my sales numbers saw a drop the second time. At the end of the IT fair, both my co-worker and I emerged as one of the few with the lowest sales figure. It certainly did not end well.

We were all too motivated by the commission that we made this a competition to become the top sales person even if it meant conspiring against and betraying each other. We had incompatible goals and it was interfering in our ability to achieve our objective. Achieving one person’s goals meant pushing the other person further away from their goal. According to Thomas Kilmann’s Conflict Instrument model, I believe we were using the ‘competing’ method where assertiveness was high and cooperativeness was low. The outcome was unpleasant for both my co-workers and myself; we were both doing poorly with our sales numbers.

If I could rewind the hands of time, I would go for the ‘collaborative’ method instead where both dimensions are high. To me, collaborating is a win-win solution for both sides. Even though it is effortful to establish a collaborative relationship in a competitive environment, it is definitely worth it. Should it be the case that the both of us collaborated and helped each other out by exploring our disagreements in an open and frank way, or come out with creative ways on how to attend to customers, it would  definitely help prevent any interpersonal conflict.  Not only does it not help to resolve a conflict by competing and pushing each other to the edge, it leaves people feeling resentful and highly unsatisfied.

Before I end off my post, I would like for you to think if you agree with me that the ‘collaborative’ method would be the best in an interpersonal conflict like this. Or could it be that ‘accommodating’ would be a better method taking into account that it is effortful to collaborate in a highly competitive environment. Think about it! I look forward to your views! 🙂

[EDIT]#2 Evaluating Verbal & Nonverbal Behavior

As I was travelling on the bus last week, I happened to be sitting in the opposite direction of a couple who were in the midst of a seemingly intense conversation. As I observed them, the westerner man seemed to be in his early 30s while the Singaporean lady was in her mid 20s. This was how the conversation went (Something along those lines):

Lady: I have been offered a 3 years contract job in Canada! It would be a great exposure for me should I decide to accept the offer. What do you think? *Looks intently at guy*

Man: *Eyes glued to his phone* No. I moved from the states to Singapore for you and now you’re going away to Canada for 3 years? Tell the office first thing tomorrow morning, you’re declining the offer.

Lady: Please? Think about the benefits it would bring. It’s a very rare opportunity. *Places her hand on the gentleman’s hands* Please consider it?

Man: My decision is final. *Shot a fierce glare at the lady*

The conversation went on with the lady trying to convince her other half that taking up the job isn’t that bad of a choice. The whole conversation saw the woman looking at the man as she speak in a fairly anxious but polite tone. Her choice of words includes “please and maybe”. On top of that, she tried to establish some form of connection and understanding through placing her hands over the man.

The male on the other hand, had his head hanged low, his eyes glued to his phone the whole time the lady was speaking. He spoke in a hostile and firm tone, making it very clear that there was no room for negotiation or the likes. Each time a different reason was brought up, he got more impatient and frustrated. (As seen through his body language and harsh tone) Never once did he try to mask his unhappiness even though there were so many people watching. To top it all off, he made use of definite words like “No” and “Final”.

In my opinion, the Westerner reacted in such a straightforward and uncaring manner because in some cultures including western cultures, ‘directness’ is preferred. Asians on the other hand takes on a more nuanced approach. Subtlety is known to be polite in Asian cultures hence the lady who happened to be a Singaporean discussed the matter in a more roundabout manner.  Therefore, some people refer to Asian countries as adopting an indirect culture and Western countries, direct culture. To add on, when the Western male was interpreting the Asian woman’s words, it seemed as though it was guided by his feelings. He felt a strong surge of unpleasant emotion when the woman spoke of the new job and allowed his feelings to speak when he said “My decision is final”. The woman on the other hand seemed to me as though she was holding back her emotions when she spoke. I interpret this as a product of having different cultures. Westerners are more likely to use their intuition or feelings to guide their interpretation but Asians who value emotional self control prefers not to use their feelings to infer meaning which was why the woman on the bus did not react in a very negative manner when the male rejected her upfront. Perhaps if it were two westerners, a normal conversation might turn into a heated discussion.

Gender too, has an influence on communication. Men for a fact, approach the world as an individual in a hierarchical social order. Their aim is to maintain an upper hand and not be pushed over. Women on the other hand, approach the world as an individual in a network of connections. They try to negotiate and come to an agreement. This is evident in the conversation above when the men said “My decision is final!” whereas the woman tried her best to convince him.

Even though the couple were not very different in age, the older one (man) had a more narrow mindset where he was not able to consider other options but the younger one (woman) saw a way to resolve the issue because she had an open mind.

This observation has taught me a lot about communication. There are many types of communication and things that may have an effect on them. Hopefully through understanding this, I will learn to become a better communicator by not allowing external factors to influence the way I communicate.

 

-Strengths in communication and the challenges I have when communicating with others-

Communication is highly essential in everyday life and people communicate for one reason or another. As a result, I make sure to have good communication skills. One of my greatest strengths in communication is the ability to listen. In conversations, I take caution not to be the only one talking but also to pause and listen. Only by listening can I fully understand and interpret what was being communicated therefore respond appropriately. On top of being able to listen, my strength in communication also lies in my ability to speak concisely. I believe that someone who rambles on in their communication will only complicate a conversation by having the audience fish for the intended message. An effective communicator is one who is able to convey a message concisely, clearly and memorably.
I may be able to communicate well in a one-to-one setting; however, I have a fear when it comes to talking to a big group. When faced with speaking to a large number of people, there is a sudden drop in my self-esteem. I tend to stutter and forget my lines as a result of it. I often think that people will nit pick at my pronunciation, the information I’m about to deliver and my posture hence get extremely nervous when it comes to a one-to-many setting. Additionally, when I get nervous, I appear extremely fidgety and that is a body language people might interpret wrongly. Appearing fidgety not only distracts the person I’m speaking to but may also be read as being impatient hence leaving a bad impression on others.
Apart from highlighting my strengths to compensate for my weakness, I hope to be more confident through taking a step out of my comfort zone. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. I should never shun away from speaking to a group of people but rather, take every opportunity given to familiarize myself with such a setting. By overcoming my nervousness, it also helps to correct my body language and as a result, make me an effective communicator.